Most thoughts of sex and intimacy come from stories and movies, TV shows and celebrities that have power to voice their opinions on the matter and it be regarded as truths. Most popular story when talking about love is Romeo and Juliet. Their story is one of forbidden love. They were overcome by it. The outcome: lies, corruption, tragedy, and death. Wow! What a thing to strive for! Lol. The super famous celeb couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. They may be great individuals and may have a great marriage. What example did it set? Lies, corruption, tragedy, and death(of a marriage). TV & Hollywood have had ALL kinds of crazy ideas on love, sex, and intimacy...edifying all the mixed conclusions and confusion of most of adolescence in today's society, even in the church. Living together is cool. Sleeping around is ideal for a fun time. Engaged equals marriage. Marriage is a prison. Pornography is acceptable pleasure because it fulfills HIS needs and I can be left alone. Sex is 50 shades of grey...it's playing a character, not a relational thing. All these have been blasted at the hearts and minds of all generations as what is truth when it comes to relationships and sex.
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." 1Cor 6:18. Interesting that "it's not hurting anyone" excuse really doesn't hold up. It's ultimately hurting you, no matter who or what else is involved. Sin is pleasurable...for a season. There will be a time when the rug will be ripped from under you. That's what Satan does. He wants you to believe that all is well and in one fell swoop, you fall. In 1Cor 10, Paul is warning the church of all the things they had done before, to not forget and fall into the same things. Then he goes on to say in verse 12, "So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful not to fall!" Ouch! Often, especially when we are in a relationship and all the lovie-dovie feelings are there and the pheromones are raging...we think we have convictions and standards that are strong...but fall under the temptation of our own selfish desires. In verse 13 it goes on to say, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man." WHEW! You mean it's common to want to lose control and make mistakes? Yes, of course. Do you have to because others have...it's important to know and understand the rest of the scripture. Listen to this, "And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." *Mind Blown* People, Christians, have misquoted this scripture by saying "he won't tempt you more than you can bear"...uh, listen, God does NOT tempt people. That's Luci's job. (Satan) What it DOES say is that he won't ALLOW you to be tempted more than you can stand. Why does God allow us to be tempted in the first place? That is a blog in and of itself, but to say the least, Free Will. He wants us to WANT to love Him. He doesn't want a bunch of zombies; mouths open, arms outstretched, brainlessly dragging along after him. He desires us to desire Him. What's AWESOME is that in the scripture God lets us know that, not only will he not allow us to be overwhelmed with temptation, BUT he will make a way of escape! ESCAPE! (Dory from Finding Nemo comes to mind!) Escape in the midst of heated temptation can be fuzzy and hard to see or hear in the situation...but it is there. Guaranteed. Unfortunately, most ignore the warnings and the path out of the "fog".
Webster defines the two words as follows;
Sex = Physical activity in which people touch each other's bodies, kiss each other, etc. Physical activity that is related to and often includes sexual intercourse
Intimacy = The state of being intimate; familiar. Something of a personal or private nature.
I was doing some research to see what others think and have spoken on the topic of sex and intimacy. I stumbled upon this article (http://www.focusonthefamily.com/faith/christian-singles/being-single-and-faithful/three-lies-about-sex-before-marriage) that really struck a chord with me.
Two Christians, two different views on whether sex is meant to be purely within a marriage relationship or if there should be other options available. Seriously, read the article once you're done here. But the guy is for premarital sex (I'm gonna refer to as PMS...for kicks and giggles), the chick is against it. He compares PMS to "test driving a car". Yep, you heard me right. Why would you need to "test drive" sex? It makes no sense! Sex isn't what makes the relationship pleasurable or strong. The relationship is what makes sex pleasurable and strong. Like I said earlier, sex is a affirmation of love. It's a side effect of love, if you will. What is love? Read our earlier blog on that topic and reference it with this one. Sex isn't love, no more than sugar is a recipe. Do you cook with sugar? Yeah, sometimes. But sugar doesn't define a recipe...it is a part of it. Sex is a part of love but doesn't define it. So the idea of having sex test drives...well, let's face it...it's an excuse for sin. Simple as that.
So, sex outside of marriage...worth it? Just by the minuscule terms of this blog, I would say NO WAY is it worth it! It hurts you. It hurts others. It hurts your relationship with others and with God. Self control is, for sure, a discipline in a romantic relationship. But if it's worth anything (the relationship you are in)...then it's definitely worth the wait (sex). :)
Until next time!
The Nameless Movement
Sarah, Derek & David